Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Bang Bang You're Dead

So it's come to this. External forces have pressured me to pit two of my dear friends and blogging inspirations against one another. I didn't want to do it, but she made me.

It's time for Panopticon Celebrity Smackdown III.


Marilyn "The Knitting Curmudgeon" Roberts vs.
Joe "Queer Joe" Wilcox
Who do you back in Live Pigeon Shooting?

Live Pigeon Shooting is a now-defunct Olympic event that was held only once, in 1900. The rules, according this handy site, were:
The birds were released in front of a participant and the winner was the competitor who shot down the most birds from the sky.
There you have it. Each vote equals one dead bird. PETA members and pigeon fanciers may substitute an imaginary clay pigeon. Jean Miles may pretend they are shooting at rabbits if it makes her feel better.

Who do you back in Live Pigeon Shooting?
Marilyn (The Knitting Curmudgeon)
Joe (Queer Joe)
Free polls from Pollhost.com
The gunfire stops around 5 p.m. United States Central Standard Time on Thursday, March 16, 2007.

36 comments:

Carol said...

Now you might think that this one goes to Mar, hands down: she's a curmudgeon, and he's ... well, queer. But knowing them both as I do, I say Joe. Mar has a much softer heart than her crusty demeanor indicates. Plus Joe is really competitive; he's likely to pull a Cheney on her.

Oh Franklin, I do love you.

M-H said...

No contest, Franklin. Dead-eye Mar will win hands down.

bess said...

you are too funny! tough choice--
so when is dolores going to become tank top worthy?

Dave Daniels said...

Oh, Marilyn, without a doubt. And watch what she DOES with it once she's felled it. (She can put old Frank Perdue to shame, to absolute shame!)
And Marilyn is a goddess. Don't mess with her.

Cheryl said...

Even after reading Carol's persuasive analysis, I still vote Marilyn. I think she would be the first to adapt to an unfamilar technology. And while Joe might Cheney some people, I have a hard time seeing him do that to Mar.

Franklin, great illustration with the poll announcement.

Aidan said...

We're back to the "Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill" argument. Poor, poor Jon.

Lucia said...

I back Marilyn, just because I am currently knitting Not Really Lace.

(Does that sound illogical to you? Wait while I get the giraffe.)

ivyleaves said...

The Rare and Handy One, of course!

Mel said...

Dunno, I could see Joe giving her a run for her money, but I have to go with Marilyn on this one.

On the other hand, I thought Dorothy Parker would win out, too.

marie in florida said...

run a new poll, marylin vs dolores?

Linda said...

I don't know Queer Joe but Marilyn is ferocious! I only know her from her blog but she is wonderfully opinionated in these days of political correctness.

Holly @Home said...

Oh Marilyn but only if you substituted with a Bill Napoli look-alike pigeon ( knitted of course).

Joe said...

While I KNOW who would win the shooting contest, I can't say I will be able to win the voting contest, as Marilyn will be getting all the "Annie Oakley" votes.

The voters also clearly haven't heard about my secret, antique gattling gun that will take out scores of flying rodents.

Holly @Home said...

Fear not Joe ..if bird-flu hits the British-isles you and your gattling gun will be most welcome in Trafalgar Square ..or even here in Reading where they drive me nuts ! My mother gives the little vermin bread and such ...huh.

Kathy Merrick said...

Well, one should perhaps vote for Joe. He's tricky.
I am enjoying everyone's thinking that Mar's the meaner.
Simply because she's not a suckup.
I have lots of evidence that proves otherwise.

amy! said...

Joe would win if he imagined all the pigeons were redumblicans.lu

Annie said...

Weavers got skillz!

S.Kate said...

Shooting pigeons for sport with guns or words doesn't peak my interest...

Now if an *epee* were the contested weapon of choice, things could be witty and interesting without anyone getting hurt.

Epee.
Ipee, ewepee, heepee, sheepy...

Yvonne said...

I fear for the pigeons, be they live or clay...Ms. Curmudgeon's got a lot of pent up anger going on there (or so it seems...you know, I don't know her personally...I'm just sayin' that's how she comes across). And Joe comes across as far, far too sweet to be shootin' the bird(s).

doloreshaze said...

Sorry, Mar-I vote for Joe. As a fellow glasses wearer, I know that myopia presents a bit of a handicap that all the crabbiness in the world can't make up for.

David said...

I'm going to steer clear of this one. I don't have time to research who these people are and I don't vote uninformed. I'll let the real knitters decide this one.

Elizabeth said...

I took less than 2 seconds to decide in this one. And I'm with the majority opinion. (See Dolores, I accidentally typed, "maaaajority.")

Mar said...

Yvonne, you really don't know me. That may be a fortuitous thing, too. For both of us.

I honestly don't have pent-up anger. When I get pissed, I let it out immediately. In fact, I rarely lose my temper. I'm a let's-discuss-calmly sort of person. That's why I was happily married for 33 years to the same person.

If we're just talking about aim, Joe should win. After all, he presumably aims, whereas I sit.

If we're talkin' in-person snarky, Joe wins that one too.

Amelia said...

Okay, I recognize that this post is over a year old at this point, but the pigeon-shooting reminded me of a fabulous book I read in middle school, called Wringer by Jerry Spinelli (of Maniac Magee fame) You have read Maniac Magee, I hope? If not, you must (it's written for 9-year-olds, it shouldn't take you very long).

In any event, just thought you might be interested.

I am in complete love with your blog.

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